Tutorial Tuesday: How to pack for Vegas

I'm leaving for Vegas tomorrow (yee!) and I have devised a pretty genius way of packing--and it is so amazing I am sharing it with you today.

Now, I'm sure this will make my engineer parents proud--or shrivel in disapproval--but I think I'm on to a marketable product.

If you have ever been to Vegas and stayed on the strip, you have encountered the $8 Coors Light (can.) This is insane, stupid and crazy. No one should ever be forced [and you are forced] to buy domestic beer  at a price the rivals the price of a chipotle burrito + guac. Seriously. That's two meals.

Let's say you want a vodka+cran, expect a $15 bar tab.

Now, I know you get 'free drinks' while you gamble. So while you sit there and sink $100 into your 'free drink' at the roulette table--I'll be up in my hotel room mixing a delicious cocktail via my suitcase.

So here's what you do.

Go to the liquor store, buy your favorites. Plan ahead--buy things that won't necessarily need chasers that are carbonated (hard to travel with.)

Yes, we are only there for 2 days. But, there are 12 of us.

OK, you have your favorites, now time for your outfits. Plan on changing clothes at least 3 times a day while you're there. Mainly because there are three phases of your day in Vegas:

• Phase One: Pool Time. Get your cutest swimming suit, your favorite hat and a cover-up. You stay at the pool until about 2--that's when you are so hot/dehydrated you decide your long-term health is more important than your tan.
• Phase Two: "Let's go walk around the strip and do stuff" Time.  This time period is after your brain is fried from the pool and lasts until about 5pm. You spend this time walking aimlessly between Caesars Palace, Bellagio and whatever gets in your way. Bring something light (it's so hot) and comfy shoes. Don't worry, you'll wreck your feet later.
• Phase Three: Vegas Time. You made the necessary trip to Forever 21 and bought the shortest/tightest dress in the shop - and this will be its first and only debut to the world. Also, you've lost about 10lbs in water weight from sweating it out in the pool today, so it's going to look extra great. You spend about an hour fighting over mirror space, applying the fake eyelashes, gobs of makeup, and enough hair spray to keep the Leaning Tower of Pisa standing. Remember, this is Vegas--not real life. You go to an overly expensive dinner, and then out to the clubs! Remember, this is not real life. Enjoy it, but thank god this is not real life.

Then you make it back to the hotel room around 3 and do it all over again the next day. Never spend any more than 48 hours in Vegas. I also think that's a law.

So I've got my outfits picked out and I'm ready to pack.

Now take a long maxi dress, and wrap it figure-8 style around each bottle.

Layer the bottom of your suitcase in a thick layer of Vegas Clothes, this is your base.

Place the bottle contraption over the base.

Flip flop spacers. 

Now shoes: Take your flip flops and arrange them as 'spacers' around the bottles. This will allow for movement but won't let the bottles clink against each other causing unnecessary vodka explosions at 30,000 ft.

Put on another layer of clothes on top of the bottle contraption, and swish stuff around to make sure that there is as little movement as possible.

Put your curling irons/hair straighteners/all around electronics up top. The key to this contraption is limiting the amount of movement possible. The tighter you squish things together, the less likely your clothes will arrive in Vegas smelling like whipped cream vodka.

OK, now my Vegas must-haves:

Ignore the moving boxes in the background.
It's really hard to find a clear spot in my apartment right now.

[Left to right]

Blister band-aids: You will need this for night 2. You will have wrecked your feet on night 1, better to have cushion than end your night early on night 2.

Wrinkle Release: You just transported a mini-bar in your suitcase--there's bound to be a couple wrinkles in your Phase 2 outfit, this stuff is genius.

Eye-lashes: Eyelashes are necessary for two occasions: Vegas and your wedding. Use accordingly. Best glue I've found is Duo brand, can get it for about $8 at Sephora. Dries clear, not goopy, and it sticks.

Sun screen: Yes, I know I'm only showing SPF 8--I need to go buy some tomorrow night. I typically start with at last SPF 30, and I don't easily get burnt. Nothing can ruin your trip like a bad sunburn on Day 1.

Big sunglasses and a big hat: To hide from the paparazzo. obvi.

Ridiculous jewelry and shoes: It's Vegas. Do it big.