What's your real problem?

I took a great training on Environmental Conflict Resolution. The class was put on by The U.S. Institute of Environmental Conflict Resolution, a federal agency purposed with helping resolve environmental conflicts.

The first thing we went over, was understanding conflict as an opportunity. Although it's hard to think of a 'fight' that way, it can be so true. A conflict is an opportunity to examine what hasn't worked in the past. It forces you to be uncomfortable, and should you accept it, find a resolution.

The most interesting thing we talked about, was understanding the real reason behind a conflict.  While someone may be upset about a person constantly being late, they may really be upset about a lack of respect. Getting to the root of what a problem really is, is the most effective way to solve it. The difficult thing is to ask the right questions to understand the real conflict.